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I guess I just start to realize that love is overrated. Forever is just too good to be true. I’ve fallen in love so many times and nothing seems to be great. Sure it was all happy, sweet, cheesy, that butterfly in my stomach bullshits, but it has its expiry date. It doesn’t last forever. It doesn’t even last for one year. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or him, but I guess I’m just really tired of being a stupid love slave. Like I literally did anything I could just to keep this relationship but it doesn’t seem to work out. Maybe it’s my stupid teenage mind or my dumb heart. I’m drowning in my own feelings. Everytime we fight, it’s like I’m suffocated. I just really don’t know what to do. He said all those painful things, and did all those things that basically made everything worse, and I’m just tired. It sucks when you’re forced to change something that you can never change. Loving someone who doesn’t trust you how much you love him is the worst part. It’s like all of your feelings, all your sacrifices, all the pain that you have to deal with is just nothing to him. It’s like every single day that we both spent is like any ordinary day. It’s like you both never shared anything at all when in fact you both have shared anything that you have. And he said “we have no chemistry.”
I just don’t get it. You can’t just stick around with someone for months if you don’t have any chemistry at all.
I know that we both have been dreaming about that one day when we finally tie the knot and live happily in our own house and no more insecurities about anything but now that day seems so far and today is here. It’s happening and it sucks. I just don’t know what else I could do. I don’t even know if I have a faith in love at all.

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